Flickr Project 365/ Creative Every Day 2011
This is a rambling over-share sort of a post...consider yourself warned!
Good. Bad. Illegal. Cheating. The language of food for me for so long. Eating, food, weight, were moral issues linked to right and wrong, as well as the key to happiness and control. I would let the number on the scale determine whether I was having a good or bad day. I've Jenny Craiged and Weight Watched. I've eaten coconut oil dissolved in water and banned all grains. I've had acupuncture and holistic healing. I own a Nordic Track and an exercise bike. I only recently removed the key chain thingie that I used to check into Curves the dozen or so times I went. To some, this is a familiar story. For some, it never ends.
|("Female Jogger" appears courtesy of mikebaird via a Creative Commons license)|
My reality ain't thin or firm. I've gained weight in the past couple weeks. I know this because while I haven't taken out the scale, I snuck a peek at my weight a time or two while playing Wii fit, and my clothes fit differently. So, I started thinking about eating less...reaching for toast with nutella, but eating a carrot stick instead. And, then I noticed...I'd begun stuffing myself at night. I started sitting and eating past full while watching TV. My body, my smart, smart body knew I had started thinking of restricting food again. My body knew I was wishing for a change in my appearance instead of being accepting. And, it reacted by eating more. All that trust I had built up was dissolving. Trust that I would never again restrict food. Trust that had allowed my body to calm down and not overeat in fear of having food taken away.
Why bother?! Well, I've heard those words before!
Look at today's photos.
This is what a person who exercises regularly looks like.