Sunday, May 30, 2010

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Pansy...and being seen

Creative Every Day/Flickr Project 365 photo for 5/25/2010:
 Depending on how I look at this flower, I can see a butterfly, an old man's face,
a fairy, and a tree frog.  If I look a certain way, I don't see any of them.

I awoke in the night thinking about the importance of being seen. 
Really.  Seen.
  I realized for me it is very important that I be seen and 
I'm thinking I'm not the only one.
I'm not referring to seeing the various roles, hats, masks, behaviors,
moods, tasks, and such.  
I'm talking about seeing {just me}.   

Sometimes I just want to be seen - 
actually, and, maybe more importantly, I want to know I'm being seen.  
I will act out in all sorts of ways just to be seen -getting more and more desperate if it doesn't seem to be working -- if I don't *know* I'm being seen.  
And, in a bizarre twist of the Universe, 
the more desperate I get, the harder it is to see me, I think.  
I get hidden by all that.
But, when someone sees through that, sees me and lets me know it, 
just like that...a calming takes place.   

I'm thinking of an infant gazing into it's parent's face and being gazed back at.
Recently I've had the privilege of spending time learning from Eileen O'Hare, medicine woman, healer, and Shamanic Practitioner, and Monica Dyer.  Twice now, Eileen has led the group I've been in through the process of "rattling in."  We sit in a circle, hands shaking the rattles we hold, we chant along with Eileen's beautiful beautiful voice, and we gaze...we just each member of the circle.  
Looking into each others eyes and holding it long enough to let our own baggage melt away, long enough to see through to the person.
The first time we did it, I just wept.  
I gazed and wept.  
I was seen, not my faults, not my accomplishments, not my past behaviors, not my ideas, opinions, or talents.  Not the me others want me to be.
Just me.
I experienced how it felt to be seen and it was so powerful. 
I also saw, saw another person...just like better, no worse, not the same, but not different...a person.
I spend a lot of time hiding, when all I want is to be seen {and loved for it}.

I'm working with a new-ish public school teacher as she hones her craft and names the magic she is creating in her classroom.  More than the interesting activities, lessons, projects, collaborations, books, assignments -- what makes her a powerful teacher is the connection she makes with the class and more importantly the connections she makes with the individual students.  She really sees them and they know it.  They know it because she uses what she sees to meet their needs.   She is able to look past the cool facades, the frightened faces, past mistakes, the ambivalent body language, she can look right to the heart of them.  And, it all melts away.  
Concurrently, she allows them to see her.




And, seeing is not a one time event.  
Life gets busy, we put on hats, tasks, roles, behaviors that obscure us.  
It is important to look through that every once in awhile and just gaze.

Take the time to see someone today and allow yourself to be seen -- 
it is a gift you can give with just a moment of your time and attention. 

(My inner perfectionist is now going into full-blown edit mode 
-- I'm publishing this before it takes over!)

Saturday, May 15, 2010


Iris after rain...
Creative Every Day/Flickr Project 365 photo for 5/15/2010:
 This was lots of fun!  
First time with the "big tripod" was a blast.
About Iris

Thursday, May 13, 2010

But is short and my love is long

 Creative Every Day/Flickr Project 365 photo for 5/13/2010:
Short as life is, we make it still shorter by the careless waste of time, Victor Hugo

The purple of this flower just feels so right to me.
I'm moving energy today...if I don't, I'm wasting time.  
It's uncomfortable, a bit.  I grieve, a bit.  
I've glimpsed what I would not have liked to see, a bit.
I've learned lessons I almost wish I could unlearn, a bit. 
 But alas.  
I'm moving energy, from a place of immobility -
where relationship and humanity are not valued -
to a place of beauty and growing and learning and living.
Did I choose this, I don't know, but is a good teacher.  
I choose to listen and to trust as I forge this path.
Life is short.  And, my love is long.  I best get busy.
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Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Strawberry Blossom

Creative Every Day/Flickr Project 365 photo for 5/11/2010:

I'm disappointed with this shot - it's a bit blurry.  
I struggle with hands that tend to shake and 
it's been windy around Connecticut these past several days, 
so the flowers are moving too!  
The girls (and Paul) gave me large and small tripods for Mother's Day.  
I'm looking forward to fooling around with the new tools.  
Tripods should help eliminate the impact of my shaky hands.  
In any event, this blossom will be delicious in a bit!  
We really look forward to Paul's strawberries each year.  

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Chicken Tractor

Paul and the girls recently built a chicken tractor.  It's essentially a coop on wheels.  Encompassing an enclosed space as well as a protected outdoor space, it can be wheeled to a new grassy spot each day.  This allows us to pasture the chickens and keep them safe from predators.  Here are some photos from the first days the chickens were outside this spring:

Ruff, ruff...

Click for more information from Paghat's Garden: Pink Flowering Dogwood